Awesome Corrected Fitspiration

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Good morning and happy Friday! So…I saw these “corrected” fitspiration posters floating around Facebook yesterday and thought they were so great, I had to share.

This one cracked me up the most: 

But this one made me happy in that teary-grateful kinda way: 

Is post-menstrual syndrome a thing? I think I have that. Either that or it’s just been one of those weeks. Good news, though! I’m off to visit a friend in Toronto for the weekend and am super-excited to experience a new-to-me city.

What are you up to this weekend? 


Do’s & Don’ts of Brunch

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IMG_2117I go through phases sometimes where I feel the need to take breaks from social media because whenever I log onto Facebook it seems like everyone is going on more vacations, having more sex (or so I—probably wrongly—assume from status updates about saccharine couple-y things), and eating more brunch than me.

But then I go through phases where I’m too busy eating brunch and having sex and (pretending I’m) on vacation to care. The pendulum swings one way and then the other and then the other…or however the saying goes.

Though I’m in between these two modes right now (aka Facebook doesn’t bother me that much but I still have time for it), I appreciated this Glamour magazine Do’s & Don’ts of Eating Brunch. As an early riser, “brunch” is usually straight-up lunch for me, but calling it brunch makes me feel like I’m living that Big-City Life or something. 17-year-old me would think my 27-year-old self was super-lame for waking up so damn early on weekends, but hey, DNA.

A few of my personal brunch Do’s & Don’t’s:

  • Water before coffee. Coffee before booze, especially if you order drinks before deciding what to eat—it’s easier to make good decisions  (food-related and otherwise) when your head is clear.  Whether I order alcohol depends on whether I have anything in my stomach and what else I have to do that day.  I usually skip the mimosa (the OJ is way too sweet) in favor of plain sparkling wine or a bellini—peach puree and champagne are lovely together. A bloody mary can be a good choice too, as long as you keep in mind that you’re likely getting a lot of sodium in there.
  • Eat for energy—I usually choose my meal based on what I think will help me feel energized and ready to take on the rest of the day. I’m an easy sell when it comes to anything with poached eggs and veggies. Bonus points for avocado. I also try to go for things that involve mixed greens as a side. A mix of carbs, protein, and healthy fat helps keep me satisfied. 
  • If you’re craving bacon, order bacon. If you don’t, you’re just going to be thinking about it all day/week/whatever. Ignoring a craving sets up up for feeling deprived and overdoing it later.

Is it “brunch” or “lunch” for you? What do you usually order? 

Sh!t you can make at home

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Yesterday, a few of my friends on Facebook were sharing this list from Buzzfeed of popular foods you can make at home—awesome way to save money and save yourself all those extra weird chemicals.

A little inspiration goes a long way
A little inspiration goes a long way

I know I went on a bit of a rant a few months ago about making my own hummus, but there are definitely foods that are super-easy and totally worth making at home.

A few of my favorites:

  • Tomato sauce—my mom may not be Italian, but her recipe tastes just as good as anything I had in Italy
  • Granola—we may not be in touch anymore, but I do have to admit that, if nothing else, when it came to making granola, that ex-boyfriend had skillz.
  • Soup—My favorites are basically everything on my recipe page.
  • Shake ‘n’ Bake—an experiment gone very right.
  • Miso-Tahini Dressing—enough said.

What are your favorite convenience foods to make at home?

Body Glitter, David Bowie, and Giant Sea Bugs: Friday Thoughts

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1. ) I don’t know what is in the air, but lately, all my blog spam seems to want to talk about is middle school dances. I’d prefer not go there, but with half the nursing staff at work wearing body glitter, it’s gotten harder to keep down the traumatic “teen canteen” flashbacks. Good. F***ing. God. My mother treasures my 7th grade photo because it is that bad—braces, triangle-shaped hair, polyester shirt with angels on it, and a bug-shaped barrette. Yeah.

2.) So far so good with the Bring Your Own Protein thing. I also discovered that tetra-packed hummus dresses up a boring salad pretty well. With ~65 calories, 6 grams of protein, and 120 mg of sodium, it’s actually pretty sane, nutrition-wise. I also love that the ingredients list is short and pronounceable. Sanity is a thing for me when it comes to food. IMG_2439

3.) I cannot stop listening to David Bowie this week. #sorryimnotsorry

4.) Last week’s sad-bastard mood seems to have lifted, and I’ve managed to keep myself from posting the snarky Facebook posts I keep starting to write. I was starting to worry I was deficient in whatever vitamin/mineral tames the urge to post stuff to my social networks like, “Well good for you” or “You want us to know your husband buys you flowers ‘for no reason’ ’cause he’s compensating, don’t you?” Seriously, though, when did Facebook become a contest of who can elicit the most eye rolls?

5.) Speaking of snarky, I’m dealing with some ridiculous PMS-induced cravings. Doesn’t happen every month, but OMG—someone please bring me some lobster meat so I can make this. I might settle for cake, but honestly, what’s the point of cake without a party? Of course my clinical brain is all, “Hmm…what nutrients am I lacking that can be found in abundance in giant sea bugs?” Either that or I’m deficient in beach time.

What’s on your mind this Friday?

“Birth Control on the Bottom” Yogurt

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Some of you who’ve been with me awhile know of my general disdain for yogurt commercials. Exhibit A. This was another gem.

“BIrth Control on the Bottom” Yogurt

Yesterday, my friend posted this hilarious video on Facebook  of a commercial for a fake product, “Birth Control on the Bottom” Yogurt. Ahhh-mazing.

What do you think about yogurt commercials? 

A Letter that all Chefs (and Anyone Who Eats) Need to Read

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A friend recently shared this letter from a George Faison, a co-owner of a New York meat wholesaler (via Mark Bittman) on my Facebook wall and I felt the need to pass it on.